clean jokes

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2+2=5

I just finished reading Orwell's 1984 and I am reeling from the after-effects. Has anyone else read it? Can some assure me that the future will not be like that!!!? :-P Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 13:02, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

I've read it too, it's awesome, but I don't know if I can reassure you about it. Speaking of which as wiki increasingly becomes more definitive and the first place people look for facts and as the information gets more viral as more people copy it, does anybody get the feeling that being a wikipedian is like working at the ministry of truth.

1984 is da sh*t! It's my favorite great literature book. I can't reassure you that the future won't be like that, but I think that Wikipedia will be the last holdout of peace and freedom if it is. Interesting culture note: On Seinfeld, in 1993 or so, Jerry and George impersonate two NeoNazis in order to get a ride in a limousine from the airport. The person that George impersonates is named O'Brien. Kramer and Elaine take on the roles of Winston and Julia in that they feel betrayed by their friends' purported beliefs. :0 :) Eilicea 14:36, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

That's one of my favorite episodes. Are you sure about the 1984 allusion though? It may be original research :) Ungovernable Force^{The Wiki Kitchen!} 01:59, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

No, I'm just assuming, but it does make sense. I might be reading into it too much with the Kramer and Elaine part. I see that we both like Seinfeld and peppering our conversations with smiley faces. :) Cool. Eilicea 16:32, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

I think you're probably reading too much into it. O'Brien is a common name. Anyways, here's a link to the episodes [[1]]. It needs major cleanup, but I'm too lazy. Ungovernable Force^{The Wiki Kitchen!} 03:14, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

If you liked 1984 you might want to check out Animal Farm which is also very good. I also found the 1984 film version of the novel very good. I think it's one of Richard Burtons best roles.  YDAM TALK 14:01, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

You may also be interested in "Brave New World". -- ßottesiηi ^(talk) 16:42, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

Brave New World is good, but I prefer 1984. Ungovernable Force^{The Wiki Kitchen!} 01:59, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

Has anyone seen Wikipedia:1984? Kind of amusing... --Mr. Lefty _{Talk to me!} 18:34, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

I am currently searching for the above books. Incidentally, my brother bought the biography of Orwell, Orwell, The Life by D.J. Taylor. Looking forward to reading it. Oh yeah, the Wikipedia:1984 is cool!, kinda creepy though.:-P Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 18:41, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

Is it just me, or was Animal Farm far better than 1984? Or maybe I like it more because it's short, and is therefore similar to what some say my attention span is... Picaroon9288•talk 19:16, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

I won't reasure anyone that it won't happen, but I hope it doesn't. A year or two ago a group (I think they were anarchists, but I can't remember) started a campaign where they went into bookstores and moved copies of 1984 into the non-fiction section. I got a kick out of that. I also saw a really funny political cartoon with Bush saying "War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength". The next frame has him saying "These are all from 1984". Frame with a pause. Next frame says "Ronald Reagan was a genius!". Ungovernable Force^{The Wiki Kitchen!} 01:59, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

Ehh I haven't posted anything here in months, (late March or early April) the place looks very different. I'd just like to say from my own personal experience that 2+2=CHAIR! :) KOS | talk 06:48, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

KoS!!!!! OMG!! Welcome back!! Not seen you around for a long time. *party* --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 06:55, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

A party is always a good thing! I've been back for a while now it seems, at least two months. Just had my 1 year wiki anniversary, though it might not count since I was not around for 4 of those 12 months. Anyhow, I've mostly stayed away from community pages since my return. :) KOS | talk 07:45, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

With Fairy God Parents 2+2 can equal Fish! (Best Crocker impression) Ahhaha! Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 11:46, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Go psychic!

Ooh, a Rorschach test for the coffee lounge! I see a bicephalous wolf with an angry leprechaun rider.--Húsönd 03:11, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

I see a perfectly symmetrical continent with four lakes and three peninsulæ. —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  18:31, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

I see two wasps (not bees) on on a flower. Iolakana•T 18:51, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

2 druidy people dancing round someone sat closer to the picture. Philc _T^E_C^I 20:07, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

Hahaha. I can see those too! But I think the druids are still holding the leprechaun. Who is bicepahous as well btw.--Húsönd 20:58, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

I see an inkblot on a page. Seriously, I see a butterfly. (formerly Tachikoma) --Kyoko 20:22, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

Mostly just the inkblot for me; but after I thought about it long enough, perhaps Wile E. Coyote.
—Chris (blather • contribs • e) 21:09, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

I see a crocodile being tackled by a large grizzly bear... with laser beams.--TBCTaLk?!? 21:46, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

I see a duck fighting a chicken for supremacy over the milk, because the duck needs to give its son, a bear, some milk, or else the mafia don will kill him. Anyway, I just see a country of some sort.--Suit-n-tie 04:38, 17 September 2006 (UTC)

I see two house-elves kissing a giant beetle. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 06:13, 17 September 2006 (UTC)

I see the Pokémon Deoxys holding up two Pichu by their necks. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 06:15, 17 September 2006 (UTC)

I see two house-elves kissing each other whilst perched on a giant beetle. ~crazytales56297 - t-e 01:01, 20 September 2006 (UTC)

Two pixies/dwarves/other mythical creatures carrying something by the horns. haz (talk) e 18:35, 20 September 2006 (UTC)

A beetle, being ripped apart by two sparrows, destroyed by it's own moral inadequacy. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 09:19, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

...? -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 14:36, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

Two witches, sacrificing a pig. --Mnemeson 00:43, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

I see the deformed underside of a ray. bibliomaniac15 03:10, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

I see 2 witches kissing a beetle's a**!?! Shadin 14:16, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

I see an angry spider face with fangs that are too short. --Friendly Porpoise 20:54, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

A black mutant reindeer brightly lit on each side by a spotlight, thus casting two shadows. Alethiophile^{Evil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME} 20:09, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

World's Longest Poem

Recently, a fellow Wikipedian has been bold and decided to challenge the Mahabharata as the World's Longest Poem. To do this, we need to get a total of 1.9 million words (Yes, 1,900,000 words). If you can at least crank out a small rhyme, contribute as many lines as you can. Thanks. bibliomaniac15 03:09, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh man, that's a good idea. We used to write stories like this, but never chain poems. I'll check it out. — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 03:23, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

lol, I bet you can't pick out which four lines I added. Oh wait, you probably can. Tee hee hee. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 03:41, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Hehe, I think I made the poem go off on a tangent. -Fsotrain₀₉ 03:49, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

No, that was me. I was planning on doing something like that, and you just gave me the perfect segue. Thanks. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 04:04, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

(edit conflict) I $uck at Western poetry, but I gave it a try. —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  03:50, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Grr, anarchists don't tell people what to do. Now go back and change it or else! ;) Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 04:03, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

In ancient Japan, that's how people used to write haiku's. One person would write the opening, the next would write the next section & so on. Haiku's could be written by many people over more than 100 years! Anyway, I'm a poet & don't you know it! Spawn Man 05:13, 25 September 2006 (UTC) ;)

Well as you may notice, I've added over 100 lines & some 700 words to the poem. Even with that we've got a loooooong way to go if we ever wanna rival the current record. I think there's a fact that says: "If one person counted every second of every day, it would still take around 30 years to reach 1 million." We're writing at less than 1 word per second, so it might take considerable longer. How long a period were the current record holding poems written over? Thanks anyway, I'll still work on it as it's quite fun! -- Spawn Man 07:50, 25 September 2006 (UTC).

Actually, I think it's only 12 days to count to 1 million. Alethiophile^{Evil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME} 02:50, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Why does it have to rhyme?? I find that to be discouraging. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 08:37, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh God! It seems Willy on Wheels has entered the poem! I wonder what will happen next....--TBCTaLk?!? 19:52, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Congrats! It seems the the poems has already reached over 1000 words![2]--TBCTaLk?!? 20:11, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Hey everyone. Regarding this topic, don't you think we should have like acts or titles? This would help editing ease & also help readers find a specific point. I highly doubt that the Mahabharata were made without any titles or paragraphs? Just a thought. So it could be like "Act I - Willy enters", "Act III - The death of Willy on Wheels" (Yes I'm thinking of killing him off already... muahahahaa...) -- Spawn Man 21:54, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Eventually, we'll have to split this into subpages if it's going to get to be almost 2 million words. bibliomaniac15 22:43, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

But is that a yes to putting in Acts? I could do the work... Spawn Man 00:14, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

I feel a new age coming about inside me, Rhymes and poetry lay all about me… anyway, I added another worhtless bit. —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  04:24, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Now its' getting funny… —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  23:47, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

It really is.-- A stressed out Suit-n-tie^{Talk About The Suit} 02:07, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

I don't know...It's starting to slow down...I wonder if it'll make it...--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 03:35, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Yar, have no fear! It'll pick up. Plus, you've got me working on it! :) It'll happen one day. DoomsDay349 20:15, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

I think we have to set our goal a little higher.. I just found this.. Epic of Manas... :-P Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 09:10, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

A new challenge! Yay! DoomsDay349 20:11, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

I added acts in appropriate places. Alethiophile^{Evil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME} 15:25, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

A Good Joke?

Anyone know a good joke?--Suit-n-tie^{Suit's Talk} 01:00, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Q= Why did the chicken cross the road? A= I dunno... -- Spawn Man 03:09, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

But seriously, I have one:

One morning, a little red man was in his home. It was a hot day & he was very sweaty. So he took a bath. In the bath he cleaned himself & then got out. At the front door he could hear the mailman delivering the mail, with the signature "clak!" of the letter box closing. There had been a recent upsurge in the occurance of mail theft lately & not wanting any trouble, the little red man put on his bath robe & headed for the front door. He opened his front door & bent down to pick up him newspaper. Just at that moment, his robe came undone as he bent down. At that moment also, a little old woman across the street was hit by a car whilst crossing the road. However in hospital she maintained it wasn't her fault. The police asked her why she stepped in front of traffic & if she was mentally sane. However she simply said: "I'm right. You're still allowed to cross the road when the little red man is flashing..."

Hardy har har har... Spawn Man 03:16, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Son, "-Mom, may I have a bicycle?"

Mother, "-No, you may not because you already have a yoyo."

Moral of this story: The grandma ate peanuts never again.--Húsönd 03:19, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

• Everytime I read that Husond, I laugh. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 09:45, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh, I thought of one.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Punch line: Because the chicken had to cross the road because his house is on the otherside. The chicken was mildly inconvenienced, until the turkey crossed the road, which is an entirely different story. Moral:Don't feed chickens after midnight, or else they will cross the street, over and over, and over.

Not real good, eh? I used to think it was funny when my cousin said it. Now it doesn't make sense.--Suit-n-tie^{Talk About The Suit} 03:25, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

I've got another (warning, this may seem rude to those without humour ;):

A woman was out of work, so she began looking for jobs in the local paper. She instantly came across one for the local toy production factory. When she went to the interview, she was hired on the spot. She started work the very next day & she was extremely excited. Her new boss gave her the task of helping test the new "Tickle me Elmo" toys coming out along with a few things to do with them. So she set to work. After about an hour or so, numerous workers began visiting the boss & complaining about how long she was taking to test the elmo toys. So the boss went downstairs to see her. Sure enough, there was a huge pile of elmo toys around her on the conveyor belt. He watched her silently for a bit. She would pick up a toy, cut two small pieces of orange fabric & put cotton wool in it. Then she'd glue it onto Elmo's pants. Confused, the boss ran up to her & asked "What the hell are you doing?". The woman replied, "I'm only doing what you asked - Give each Elmo two tes-ticles."

Hardy har har har har! Test tickles? Get it... Hahaaha... Spawn Man 04:03, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

I have an eerie feeling that this joke section won't thread for too long. :-D --Húsönd 04:10, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Ha ha ha ha, how funny! Yeah, maybe you're right...--Suit-n-tie^{Talk About The Suit} 04:15, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

And another one!

One day, a company boss decided he needed a new employee. So he placed an ad in the newspaper. Only three people had replied after a week, so he asked to interview them. However, the boss was worried about interviewing them personally, because he had a problem. From birth, he had been left with no ears. This made him terribly self conscious. On the first interview, the lady was very impressive. Her resume was great & she has oodles of confidence. However, unsurness crept in & the boss decided to ask her a question. "Do you notice anything strange about me?" He asked her. "No. You have an orange tie?" Hearing this, the boss knew she was lying & decided not to hire her. After lunch was the next interview. The man was also again very impressive with a good work ethic. However, when the boss asked him the same question as in the first interview, the man replied that he did not see anything abnormal. Angered, the boss again decided not to hire the man. Towards the end of the day, the boss entered the last interview. Although the last guy was good, he wasn't as good as the others. After a bumbled interview, the boss asked the guy the same question. However, he was surprised by the man's answer. "You wear contact lenses". The boss was very excited about the man's observant character & asked "How do you know?" The guy replied: "Because, you've got no freakin' ears."

Hardy har har har har hahahaha (That was last 1...)-- Spawn Man 04:16, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

OK, I have some:

• Q: What's the difference between a Nazi and a trampoline?

A: You can take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

• Three Nazi skins are drinking on the top of a bridge. The first is drinking Guinness, the second is drinking Pabst and the third is drinking Blatz. They all jump off the bridge at the same time.

Q: Who hits the ground first? A: Who cares, as long as they all hit it eventually.

(Suggestive themes, ethnic stereotype)

• A car theif, a Jew and a gay guy are all in Hell, but God decides to offer them all one more chance on Earth to prove themselves. All of a sudden, they find themselves on a street corner at night. They are walking down the street and all of a sudden the theif sees a tricked out sports car with the keys still in the ignition and the door unlocked. "I just can't pass this up" he said. He got in the car, reached for the keys and POOF!, he disappeared. The other two are scared, but decide to keep walking anyway. All of a sudden, the Jew looks down and sees a penny on the ground. "I just gotta take it" he said. So the Jew bends down to pick up the penny, and POOF! the gay guy's gone.

(Coarse language)

• Q: What do you call a black person flying an airplane?

A: A pilot you fucking racist.

• (Caution, coarse language and themes)

A boy goes up to his dad one night and asks "Can you explain politics to me?"

The dad is quite tired, after having a long day at the job, but tries the best he can. "Well, think of it like this: I have the job and make all the money, so I'm like capitalism. Your mother, she decides how we spend that money, so she's like the government. Our maid is like the working class. You are the people, and your baby brother Jamie is like the future. Do you understand?"

"Not really," the boy responded, so his father says they'll finish their conversation in the morning after he has gotten some sleep.

The boy went to bed and fell into an uneasy sleep, as he still had many questions. A little while later he woke up to his baby brother Jamie's cries. He went to the room next door and could tell that Jamie had soiled his diaper. He didn't know how to change it himself, so he went to his parent's bedroom. He gently knocked on the door, but no one answered, so he quietly opened it. He saw his mother sleeping, but his dad was gone. When he tried to wake his mother, she told him to leave her alone, so he decided to try and find his dad instead.

As he was walking in the hallway, he saw the door to the maid's room was ajar, and heard strange noises coming from it. When he peered inside he saw his father making love to their maid. The boy obviously didn't want to disturb them, so he decided to just go forget about his brother and go back to sleep.

The next morning, the father asked his son, "So, what do you need me to explain about politics?"

The boy said, "Oh, that's ok, I think I understand it all now."

The father, clearly surprised, asked, "Oh, really? Well, can you explain to me your understanding of politics now?"

"Sure" the boy responds. "No one listens to the People, Capitalism is screwing over the working class, the Government doesn't give a damn, and the Future is in deep shit."

• (Fans of police officers shouldn't read this one)

Q: What's the difference between a cop car and a porcupine? A: Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.

• (Dirty joke, read with caution)

Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to her lover? A: Same time next month. If you don't get it (like many people) click here

• (And another dirty joke Read it out loud if you don't get it)

Q: What's the difference between anal sex and oral sex? A: Oral makes your day, but anal makes your whole week.

Ungovernable Force^{Click here to complain about these jokes} 05:12, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

Q: What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? A: She choked.
SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 05:25, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

• Okay, here's one of mine:

A young man is sitting on a bus. In front of him, to old ex-army men are deep in conversation.
"It's Wohoom!" the first one claims.
"No, no, no," the second argues. "It's wahoooooom!"
They carry on for a little while, until the young man eventually leans forward, and quietly says,
"I believe the word you're looking for is womb."
The first man turns to him, enraged, and demands, "How on earth do you know what a hippopotamus sounds like farting underwater?"
Okay, not great, but... Charlie MacKenzie 23:06, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?" bibliomaniac15 02:12, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

(Old Joke)
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"
-SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 03:07, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Two Italians are sitting in a bus; one is explaining something to the other. An elderly lady sitting behind them listens in on their conversation:

The lady is outraged, and asks them what they are talking about

The man turns around and says: "I'm teaching him the spelling of Mississipi".

Here's another one:

Two Chinese come into a restaurant. The waitress gives them the menu, and after flipping to the last page, they both pull down their pants, and start whacking their penes furiously. The waitress inquires what they're doing. One of them points to the menu card, where it's written: "First coem, first serve".

--May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 14:09, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Some good jokes:

I saw this guy hitchhiking with a sign that said "Heaven". So I hit him.

I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay." He went insane.

My grandma started walking five miles a day every day when she was 60. She 84 now, and we still don't know where the hell she is.

DoomsDay349 00:42, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

• That just got out of hand pretty quickly. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 09:34, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Well alright:

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out a tree on you, would kill you?

A pool table [punchline] tity boom [punchline].

Anyway, I got home and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said,"who's speaking please?" and the voice said,"you are".So I rang my local swimming baths and asked," is that the swimming baths?" He said, "Depends where your calling from." So I rang the rubbish removel place and said, " I want a skip out the front of my house" and he said, "I'm not stopping you". After that I went to the dentist and he said, "say ahhhhh" and I said, "Why?" and he said, "because my dog has died." Most dentist chairs go up and down but this one went backwards and forwards. "This is strange" I thought, and the dentist said, " For Christ's sake, get the hell out of my filing cabinet." So I was driving home and my mobile rang, it was my boss. He said "you've been promoted" and I swerved. He rang again and said, "You've been promoted again" and I swerved again. He rang a third time and said, "You've been promoted to managing director." and I swerved into a tree. A policeman came and said," what happened?" and I said, " I careered off the road".

Replace the first O with a U.

Santa Claus, on trial....

"Sir, is it true that you called my client, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES, a 'ho'!?"

"You blasted him into another dimension?" "It was an accident! Relax, he'll be fine til I find him again.... unless he ended up in a Dimension of Pain or something."

Meanwhile

"WELCOME TO THE DIMENSION OF PAIN!!!!!"

"Thanks, can I use your bathroom?"

.............

"No."

A guy walked into a bar, and when he stepped inside, he fell over. He looked down, and saw he slipped on some mess a dog left. He then went to the bathroom to clean up his shoe. When he stepped out of the bathroom, a really big, bulky, tough bikey walked through the door, and slipped on the same mess. As he was picking himself up, the guy said, "T goes in a tea pot."

• Knock knock
• (who's there?)
• Big-ish
• (Big-ish who)
• No thanks.

She was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?

Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

His wife stared at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

And that's it.

• I'm really very sorry. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 09:42, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

• • What do you mean it got out of hand? Those were funny...  :( DoomsDay349 20:27, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

• • • Kittens!

• • • • It got out of hand, because it took me 45 minutes to type and think up. But thanks for the praise DoomsDay, I hope to one day become a commedian as soon as I am released. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 11:35, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Q: What is the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of kittens?

A: You can't unload the sand with a pitch-fork.

Q: Why did the blood-covered kitten cross the road?

A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

You may think I'm kidding, perhaps that I'm cruel and sadistic, but of course we all know kittens are evil and are our greatest enemy. DoomsDay349 02:34, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

DoomsNightXXX! Be careful of what you say! I am a kitten and what you just said is nonsense and of course Sadistic! Miaaaaw!!! If you want to talk to me, please refer to my master! -- El Gato Del Che 14:40, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I don't know... I have a cat that tries to strangle me in my sleep, sometimes. No joke. He does that "pawing" thing that all cats do, but somehow always manages to end up at my neck. Plus, cats are known for sucking your soul right out of your body. And stealing your breath. I'm in the process of raising an Army of cats to dominate the world. I'm very close. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 18:31, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Ok, good.

Better!

Well, where I live anyway. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 11:35, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Q: How can you tell if a violist is playing out of tune? A: His hands are moving.

Q: What do you call two violists playing in unison? A: Minor second. (This one requires a little music theory.)

Q: Why are the Beatles like the viola section of the Royal Philharmonic? A: Neither has played together since the 60's.

Q: What do an accordian player and a music lover have in common? A: Nothing.

Q: Why are accordian players like lawyers? A: They're the only ones satisfied with what just happened when the case is closed.

Q: What good is a viola? A: Kindling for the accordion fire.

- Che Nuevara 17:57, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Question

Has anyone ever laughed while reverting vandalism? Some edits and reverts do make me wonder sometimes! ([3], for example, and every WP:BJAODN page and sub page) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  21:14, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

The other day someone added this to my user talk page, made me laugh (not sure why!). Finally back editing a bit more- hurrah! EVOCATIVEINTRIGUE TALKTOME | EMAILME 21:19, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

I don't laugh much, as vandals tend to be retards with no sense of humor. Whatsoever. For instance, this retarded little bit...[4].

DoomsDay349 21:30, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Careful Dooms. We mustn't bite, er, provoke the vandals. -Fsotrain₀₉ 21:37, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

I tend to mimic myself holding an AK-47 and blasting the vandal to bits. bibliomaniac15 23:58, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

• Has anyone ever laughed while reverting vandalism? Does the pope shit in the woods? Oh, mercy. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 09:32, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

I've found a few edits that made me laugh. For instance, this wonderful bit of trivia about snails, and this edit to "Selling out". And how could I forget this one? :D ~Inkiиgton 10:06, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

• My favourite. — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 11:27, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Meh. Vandals are too stupid to be provoked. If they do happen to get provoked, then I'll shoot them all down myself! Yar. DoomsDay349 20:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

I'll destroy them with this. DoomsDay349 20:34, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

THE KATYUSHA!!!!! WHOOHOO!!!!! —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  23:37, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Damn right. Vandals should be afraid. Very, very afraid. DoomsDay349 02:15, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh, I've seen something, my friend in real life,did this(check page history). It was crude, and rather mean, but made me laugh... I deleted it though, since it may get my pal blocked.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 02:52, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I love this one on the Anarchist Cookbook article. I actually added it to BJAODN. It was a mockery of the "Criticism by anarchists" section I added to the page. I still think it was great. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 04:41, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Okay. This is hilarious.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 04:59, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Apparently, vandals have developed some remote intelligence, just enough to make me laugh, because I found [5] this, which I found rather funny. DoomsDay349 05:52, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I don't know what's happening to me, but this [6] made me laugh! I feel like a kitten just killed me or something...DoomsDay349 05:57, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I found a small collection at Raja Lon Flattery userpage. Enjoy! -- Szvest 00:30, 1 October 2006 (UTC) ^{Wiki me up ®}

Those were all too funny!!!! -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 00:49, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

This was closely followed by this. - Che Nuevara 18:00, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Gray's talk page was vandalized: [7]. Now, to make it clear to people, I put the subscript, "Phocoenidae, not Delphinidae" in my main account's signature. --Friendly Porpoise 01:41, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

A no tricks lil question

Has anyone here ever vandalized an article? Be sincere, pls! -- Szvest 00:03, 29 September 2006 (UTC) ^{Wiki me up ®}

Have you? Me, I've never done so.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 01:01, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Not me, sincerely! -- Szvest 01:13, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I read the What Have I Done?! stuff on your signature Suit. Have you done something wrong? -- Szvest 01:16, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

No, not at all, honest. I never did, and never will.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 01:25, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Anyone else do something?--A message from Suit-n-tieWhat Have I Done?! 02:23, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh man. Errr... about 4 years ago, when I first discovered Wikipedia, I changed the word 'wiki' to 'kiwi' on one of the project pages... can't remember which one. Took me about 10 minutes to do. Got reverted in half as long. That's when I realised how hard people work to keep things clean here, and I felt incredibly bad.

There we go... my Wikiconfession! ::shamefaced:: — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 18:35, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I don't know if anyone remembers when I had this picture on my user page (ignore the funky userbox stuff at the top), but I'm thinking about doing something like this:

—  $PЯINGεrαgђ  20:47, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Hey, that battle was on my 14th birthday! 8D ~crazytales56297 - t-e 01:10, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I guess I'll just come clean and admit a few things. Well, let's see... I was a vandal for my first week or so at Wikipedia, I did plain silly IP vandalism (nonsense rhymes and that sort of thing). I got tired of it since it kept being reverted in seconds and gave up, deciding to contribute properly, being far more worthwhile. Since then I vandalized one article on a certain occassion, can't remember exactly when. I was a.) Furious and depressed over the subject of the article and b.) decidedly tiddly. I was sober enough to log out though. :P I went back and reverted it immedietly if that means anything.

Yes there's more, long confession. :D I once vandalized my own userpage out of boredom, but that was in my first month at Wikipedia if I recall correctly. Phew, that's the first time I publically admitted to all that stuff. Hopes he won't be lynched. -- Banes 21:48, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

P.S. I presume this applies to Wikimedia projects only?

I like the WikiConfession term Riana. Sounds like a good idea of a project bringing vandals down back to earth! What about implementing it on Esperanza? I mean a lil room (called Confession Room) where ex-vandals including cute one as some of the Esperanzians here would confess. -- Szvest 22:57, 29 September 2006 (UTC) ^{Wiki me up ®}

I haven't vandalised under this account (thank God), but as either 66.134.206.65 66.134.206.67 or 66.134.206.66 (my current one), I vandalised Lillith (diff). <huge blush> and thank you Splash for reverting it! —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  01:48, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I added my name to the list of guitarists once... :-P.. Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 06:00, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I've never vandalized Wikipedia, but I was reverted by AntiVandalBot because I blanked a page and forgot to redirect it. DoomsDay349 06:02, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Well, I never vandalized but I did have an innapropriate username; thegreatcrapper. I got blocked, and the next day, I made it more suitable (get it? EH? Sorry for the pun...) and now I'm Suit-n-tie. Fascinating story, eh?--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 06:15, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I have never vandalised anything... yet. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 00:55, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I'm a reformed vandal. I did childish vandalism in '04. ~crazytales56297 - t-e 01:10, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

No vandalism, but I did write a long, nonsensical article in the sandbox once -- and I started an article on something that most certainly wasn't Wikipedia article-worthy. It was a real (kind of) company, but someone deleted the article within half an hour. Totally NOT following WP:DELETE! — Editor at Large ( talk) 03:12, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Oh, now I remember one thing. I created a nonsense article about turkeys and whatnot. I deleted it once I realized what I was doing. That was way back, when I just became an editor.--A Stressed Out Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 01:43, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I've been there - done that. Changed F-22 Raptor to F-22 Craptor. See: [8]]. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 12:08, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I vandalized George W. Bush's article once...stupid little denigrating stuff...reverted really soon. Alethiophile^{Evil Kitten wants you to TALK TO ME} 21:11, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

New mascot!

As per the discussion above a few sections, people were wondering if there should be an ESP mascot? I suggested my fave pic on wikipedia, the cute lil' lemming. It's now green with the ESP logo, & people up there seemed to like the idea. Where do we go now people, if you still like him that is? Thanks, Spawn Man 23:43, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Lemming vote (7/4)

Support

• Support per nom.--Húsönd 23:59, 27 September 2006 (UTC)
• Support the lemming -- Szvest 00:05, 28 September 2006 (UTC) ^{Wiki me up ®}
• Support. Lemmingness is next to godliness. (or some other such line). DoomsDay349 00:36, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
• Strong Support oops, this isn't an RfA. ;) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  00:39, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
• Support. Almost as cute as the Jack Russell Terrier that lives with me. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 02:35, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
• Support. Because it's cute and furry. I would have supported any cute and furry animal, though. --Kyoko 06:43, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
• Support - Per my above statement... Spawn Man 01:11, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Oppose

• Oppose. The idea of the mascot being a lemming just seems wrong. -Fsotrain₀₉ 00:52, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

• Strongly Oppose.I don't really, pardon my "language", give a damn about a mascot. Though, if I had my pick, it would be a cow or a wombat. --Suit-n-tie^{Talk About The Suit} 02:07, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
• Oppose. Lack of mainspace edits, lack of interaction with other editors on article talk pages, needs to use edit summaries, needs to enable e-mail address. Oh, you say that this isn't an RfA? Well then, I shall switch my vote to Support. --Kyoko 06:43, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Cute. ;) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  20:39, 29 September 2006 (UTC)
• Weak oppose weak answers to questionsCute, but looks moldy. — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 11:24, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
• Strongly oppose. Lemmings have a habbit of jumping into the Artic Ocean. --TBCTaLk?!? 11:06, 30 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Reply - Well that is what the discussion up there solved, if you read it of course. ;) Anyway, think of it like this; There's a sea of normal coloured lemmings (or upset & angry Wikipedia editors!) jumping into the big sea (or leaving Wikipedia). And there's our green lemming (or Esperanza)in amongst them helping them to not commit suicide (making them feel good & telling them not to leave). Not only does it seem cute, but is a great symbolic choice for the project. Sort of like how kangaroos & emus aren't on the Australian coat of arms just because they're Australian, but because in real life they're incapable of walking backwards. Just my thoughts anyway, Spawn Man 01:16, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
• Strong oppose per comments below. --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 16:14, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Comment

• Comment. How can you possibly think that? Lemmings are perfect in every way, shape, and form. They're both cute and cuddly and utterly awesome! They are perfect! What do you suggest as our mascot, hmmmmmmmmm? DoomsDay349 01:51, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

A wombat...Or a cow.--Suit-n-tie^{Talk About The Suit} 02:12, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Between the two I'd say wombat, but between wombat and lemming, I'd probably choose a lemming. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 07:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Well, I'd accept a cow, but a wombat? Never. Never ever ever. DoomsDay349 20:19, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

A cow? You can't be serious. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 04:42, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Lemmings>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Cow>>>>>>>>>>>>>Wombat>>>>>>>>>Everything>>>>>>>>Suit-n-tie. YAR! DoomsDay349 20:02, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

The cow does hold significant value to me...Guess it's just my Indian blood....COWS!!--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 04:26, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Oh, I didn't realize that. I hope I didn't offend you then. I can understand really liking cows if your from India, but being American myself, I tend to not have too much appreciation for them beyond any other animal. I mean, I like them enough to not eat them or any other animal, but they just seem so...well, not cute. I did have a calf suck on my hand once though, that was funny and kinda cute (but a bit disguisting too). Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 04:54, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

It's not that you offended me or anything, just wanted to mention the cow thing...Actually, I wasn't born in India (hope to go there eventually tho'!), I was born in America, at a small hospital about 4 miles away...Well, that's all...COWS, or a wombat...I like farm animals (wombats aren't farm animals, I know).--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 04:59, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

See now, picture a green cow. Green cows give green milk, or if they are bulls, green meat. Disgusting, either way. A green lemming, however, is in no way disgusting. Except for the possible alien-background, but hey, we're not here to just, are we? Aliens are people too. And that includes alien lemmings. (Cue the patriotic music).  :) DoomsDay349 05:19, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I don't care if the cow wins or is even mentioned anymore, but, if need be, like all cows die and only green ones remain, I'd ingest their meat and milk...Hmmm, a green wombat? I don't know...The lemming's okay, tho'. Better than that thing down there, at least.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 06:09, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Suit-n-tie, have you heard 'Cows with Guns' by Dana Lyons? I have a feeling you'd like it. — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 06:46, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

• Comment. I would prefer it if the lemming were'nt green. That makes it look... alien. --May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 06:58, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
  • But green is our color! And the alien part is cool. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 07:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
    • Alien you say? Did it ever occur to you that GREEN LEMMINGS DON'T REALLY EXIST? Of course it's an alien! Do you think that something like this is biologically possible? DoomsDay349 20:19, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
      • Exactly, and Esperanza isn't an alien organization;it's a human/e organization. I don't think people coming here looking for comfort and support will be encouraged by the sight of a green lemming. I would support of the lemming looked natural (it's unbearable cute). Let's not try to be *cool*; our goal here is to spread warmth. Anyways, any proposal here won't go through till it's proposed on the Esperanza talk page.--May the Force be with you! Shreshth91($ |-| ŗ 3 $ |-| ţ |-|) 16:14, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
        • • Well we can propose it there one we get it decided here. DoomsDay349 23:53, 1 October 2006 (UTC)
• Comment: Can we name him/her Lirilith? My friends and I had a cartoon lemming friend named Lirilith back in Junior High. We designed her for our report on tundras. Lirilith was a girl, not sure about this lemming though. We also ended up naming the tree we ate near Lirilith too in her honor. We also had an invisible gay dendrophiliac (lover of trees) friend named Bob who married Satan (another one of our trees). There was also a tree named Frodo. And yes, we were psycho, thank you for asking. Ungovernable Force^{Got something to say?} 07:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

That's wierd.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 15:49, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

• Must the lemming be green? As Riana said, it does make the lemming look moldy. Could we have a normal lemming with the EA logo on it, maybe highlighted with a green circle or something? Sorta like Superman's S. --Kyoko 21:40, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

• What's wrong with a nice, moldy lemming?--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 21:59, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

• Completely inedible. — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 06:44, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

What're you talking about? A little moldy lemming won't kill anyone. (turns around and eats a moldy lemming, begins to vomit...) Never mind.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 03:38, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Witty Lines

Anyone have any witty sayings? I'm aiming to divert some of the vulgar humor away from the joke section. bibliomaniac15 00:07, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

My basic reply to anything insulting: "Die in a car fire". That's wit, if you ask me. But seriously, I think wit only works in a situation, like yo momma jokes, which as we know are the highest form of wit (ok maybe not, but it's a good example).

Example 1: Wit (not really, but it's an example).

Person A: What are we doing today?

Person B: Yo momma

Example 2: Lack of wit

Person A: And anyway, the math test is coming up.

Person B: Yo momma

Person A: Good lord you're stupid. (that was wit, there)

So you see, wit is dependant on situation. QED. DoomsDay349 00:49, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Yes, it might be a good idea to divert some rather unEsperanzian material from that section. :-) --Húsönd 01:57, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

That stuff was not my intention. I just wanted to hear a good (clean) joke. Guess it got a bit outta hand. Well, I don't have anything witty to say...I prefer to be sarcastic. It makes me feel happy.--Suit-n-tie^{Talk About The Suit} 02:03, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Heh, apparently I was wrong when I said that wouldn't thread.--Húsönd 02:09, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Apparently I was too.--Suit-n-tie^{Talk About The Suit} 02:13, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Yea!! Sarcasm! -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 02:25, 28 September 2006 (UTC)
Oh, and did you honestly think that that was not going to happen. Tsk, tsk...

Example 3: Stop the conversation.

Person A: You suck!

Person B: No you suck!

Person A: No your a towel

Person B: ????????

And there you go. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 09:28, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

I wasn't making a yo momma joke, not really, I was demonstrating the most simplistic form of wit. My point, again, is that wit is dependant upon the situation. If you insult me, then I'd be glad to reply with a witty comment. DoomsDay349 20:23, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

Combo, (double points, oooo yeh)

Person A: Your gay

Person B: Am I?

Person A: Yeh, you gay

Person B: Look an eagle!

Person A: Shut up

Person B: No your a turtle

Person A: What are you on?

Person B: Your mum

Person A: Arggghhhhh

Person B: Yeh, she said that too

Person B: Lets square dance

Person B: I like star wars lego

Person B: Doo doo doo doo

Person A: ARRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Philc _T^E_C^I 22:22, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

A lenghty week of Lingo's harrassement of Cool beans:

Day -1:

Mister lingo: Is your name Dan Druff?

Mister cool beans: Yes

Mister lingo:You get into people's hair!

Day 1:

Mister Cool beans (remembering day -1): They say that two heads are better than one.

Mister lingo:In your case, one would have been better than none.

Day 3:

Mister lingo: I heard you went to have your head examined.

Mister Cool beans: Who said that?

Mister lingo: Not important. Doctors found nothing there.

Day 4:

Mister lingo:You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

Mister Cool beans: Oh really? Thanks.

Mister lingo:You have a good weapon against muggers; your face!

Day -1 before murder:

Mister lingo:I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!

Mister Cool beans:Why? Could you stop your nonsense?

Mister lingo:When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say it was your stupidity.

Mister Cool beans:Not sure!

Final day:

Mister lingo:You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!

Mister Cool beans:Bang, bang!! Take a vacation; go to "Club Dead".

P.S. Szvest to Esperanzians: I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more! -- Szvest 23:17, 28 September 2006 (UTC) ^{Wiki me up ®}

• Look, I can't be held accountable for what I do when I'm high on Toilet Ducks. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 12:13, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Adopt a user

Hey, check this recent initiative by Flameviper12: Wikipedia:Adopt-a-user. It looks like a great idea, how about bringing this project to Esperanza? I already contacted Flameviper12 about it. What do you guys think?--Húsönd 15:09, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

That's interesting, I like it.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 15:46, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

It sounds like the admin coaching program. Good stuff! -- Szvest 22:01, 30 September 2006 (UTC) ^{Wiki me up ®}

Good idea, but as Fayssal said, sounds a bit like admin coaching! EVOCATIVEINTRIGUE TALKTOME | EMAILME 22:08, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, but the waiting list for admin coaching is as long as my arm, and admins have better things to do. I think it'd be good for "normal editors" to have a chance to mentor people. — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 06:40, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

True. -- Szvest 23:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Adopt me!-[[User talk:Monkey13|Monkey<nowiki> </nowiki>[[User:Monkey13|13]]<nowiki></nowiki>[[User:Monkey13/Awards|!]]]] 22:03, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Done. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 22:07, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Wiki-Nightmares Anyone?

Has anybody ever suffered from a Wiki-Nightmare? I just made that word up, so here is my definition: Any Nightmare involving Wikipedia or your Wikipedia user account etc. For example: A nightmare involving your user account being blocked because you didn't cite your sources. (This obviously wouldn't happen in the real Wikipedia but a nightmare is a scary dream so anything could happen!) If you haven't; then share your thoughts on what would be the scariest Wiki-Nightmare. If you have, then please tell us about your experience. Thanks - Jam01 21:08, 30 September 2006 (UTC)!

I dreamed a while back (when I was Cliff) that I had a bunch of impersonators who were, you guessed it, trying to throw me off a cliff. BUT, I'm proud to say that's the only one I've ever had. ;) —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  21:14, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

No wiki-nightmares per se, but I have dreamed that I was editing Wikipedia more times than I care to admit. I've also caught myself trying to use Wiki-markup in non-Wiki applications. --Kyoko 21:37, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Just once, where I couldn't remember my password.--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 21:37, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

You know it's funny you mention this. The other night I drempt that somebody had removed most of the references on an article I had spent ages researching and they right to do so too. I actually found it quite distressing at the time. Don't know what that says about me though  YDAM TALK 22:12, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Some great responses so far; I just thought of another possible Wiki-Nightmare: A writer for the wikipedia signpost writes an article about how tacky some people's userpages are; and there is an example link showing your userpage! That would be worse than watching Psycho for some people! Jam01 05:18, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I'm always signing my e-mails with ~~~~... and trying to use Wiki-markup, like Kyoko. ::addicted:: — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 06:32, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Been there, done that! ~~~~, er, —  $PЯINGεrαgђ  16:05, 3 October 2006 (UTC) :P

Siggy (not ciggarettes)

Can someone make me a new signature... i lack Wiki Syntax Knowledge... but make it Pink Floyd based... somehow...dunno how... but please... if you do... ill give you a cookie--IAMTHEEGGMAN (talk) 22:30, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

How about this one?

IAMTHEEGGMAN^{Δdark side}

--TBCTaLk?!? 23:25, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

-Or this?

IAMTHEEGGMAN ^¡Meddle! _{The Final Cut}

— Editor at Large ( talk) 01:25, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I love Pink Floyd! Just a thought: IAMTHEEGGMAN Speak to Me The Gold It's In The...

Dar-Ape 01:56, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

~IAMTHEEGGMAN wish you were here...

my idea ~crazytales56297t.e] 22:45, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

SO MANY!! CANT PICK!! but it's down to EAL's and TBC...ill pick later... OR HOW BOUT A VOTE!--68.55.182.255 23:16, 1 October 2006 (UTC) --IAMTHEEGGMAN (talk) 23:21, 1 October 2006 (UTC) (erm...)

oh wait... i can... Hybrid version by me

IAMTHEEGGMAN^{Δdark side} --IAMTHEEGGMAN (talk) 23:24, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

or this on... congrats TBC... because it said HTML was invalid and i didn't wanna figure it out... but after previewing it it still doesn't work... any help?--<u><font color=black>IAMTH</font><font color=#6C6C6C>EEGG</font><font color=#939393>MAN</font></u>^{<big><font color="green">Δ</font></big><font color="blue">dar</font><font color="orange">k s</font><font color="red">ide</font>} 23:33, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Did you make sure to click the "Raw Signature" box?--TBCTaLk?!? 08:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

yea... :-( well... this is what you get...--IAMTH((EE))GGMAN (Speak to Me)(Breath) 15:52, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

That's strange... It's currently working for me. --IAMTHEEGGMAN^{Δdark side} 21:19, 2 October 2006 (UTC) (TBC using IAMTHEEGGMAN's sig for testing)

Oh, I know what's wrong. It should be:

<u><font color="black">IAMTH</font><font color="#6C6C6C">EEGG</font><font color="#939393">MAN</font></u><sup><big><font color="green">Δ</font></big><font color="blue">dar</font><font color="orange">k s</font><font color="red">ide</font></sup>

and not

<u><font color=black>IAMTH</font><font color=#6C6C6C>EEGG</font><font color=#939393>MAN</font></u><sup><big><font color="green">Δ</font></big><font color="blue">dar</font><font color="orange">k s</font><font color="red">ide</font></sup>

Sorry for the confusion.--TBCΦtalk? 21:23, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

praise the lord! --IAMTHEEGGMAN^{Δdark side} 23:52, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

yet forgot to fix and add links, and Boldness (Not "Be Boldness"... haha... crappy Wiki-Humor)--IAMTHEEGGMAN^{Δdark side} 23:59, 2 October 2006 (UTC) <-IAMTHEEGGMAN's Fix New Shiny Sig

My new sig

What do people think of my new sig? My old one was a bit long, so I've gone for a shorter, punchier one based on a favourite song of mine (bonus points if you can work out what it is!)? Laïka (Smurrayinchester) 12:43, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I certainly like it, though it looks like I'm not going to get the bonus points ;) Thε Halo ^Θ 14:40, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, apart from bearing a striking resemblance to the first dog to go up in space, I'm clueless. — $PЯINGεrαgђ 15:20, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

"Neighborhood #2 (Laïka)"?? -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 15:27, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Yay!! SaturnYoshi wins! Laïka 15:36, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Hooray for Wikipedia!!! -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 00:36, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Horay for Lentils! Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 12:18, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Hooray for random off-topicness! Laïka 15:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

New userpage

Hi people! What do you guys think of my new userpage design?? User:Imoeng. Also don't forget to put your name on the friends list, its still empty at the moment (only 2 ppl) :( Ahahaha. Cheers -- Imoeng 20:51, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I can't read the text on your page. Too tiny. Perhaps you should try another font. Apart from that, it looks great. :-) --Húsönd 21:18, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, the font's a bit ick. Otherwise it looks super-duper, might nom you for the next user page award! — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 06:37, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Great user page, but fair use images aren't allowed in the userspace, as per the fair use policy.--TBCTaLk?!? 07:13, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I was gonna mention that, but I got tired of writing... lol — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 07:36, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, nice Page... nice pic too..... :-P ..Jayant,17 Years,India • contribs 07:45, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

What about now? The Steve Vai image was uploaded under public domain, so I reckon there will be no problem. I also have changed the font style, is it clearer now? Cheers -- Imoeng 09:18, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Oh yeah! Much better now. Good work! :) — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 13:19, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Hahaha, thanks. But I should've contributed more! :P Cheers again -- Imoeng 13:35, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

From Talk:Cat flea

Q: I have fleas in the house. Do the fleas die as colder weather sets in?

We need brainstorming for this...

• A) No, they'll survive. Abandon your house and kitties.
• B) No, they'll survive. Stop being cheap and give your kitties Frontline.
• C) No, they'll survive. Stop editing Wikipedia and start scratching.
• D) No, they'll survive. Move to Minnesota and leave the windows open for a couple of nights. Your kitties will perish and the fleas might subsequently starve.

Húsönd 21:16, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I don't believe fleas die in cold weather, as they live in animal/your fur/hair anyway...--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 21:59, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

I just asked Yahoo answers a question similar to this. Of the answers I received I chose the one that said to buy a box of "20 Mule Team Borax" in the laundry soap isle and sprinkle it on carpets and in corners an such. In a couple of days, the fleas will dry up and can be vaccumed away. I can say that my problem has lessened considerably. As for the pets, bathing and protection should be used. Frontline drops is good. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 00:43, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Uh, "dry up", like have their internal juices boil and then shrivel like prunes? Or what? -Fsotrain₀₉ 18:28, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

It's something like that. I'm not sure about the whole biology aspect of it, it was just what I was told. Frankly, I couldn't care less if it made them explode. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 18:15, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Simple English

Has anyone noticed that the Simple English Wikipedia has a Coffee lounge as well now?--TBCTaLk?!? 08:14, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Damn. That is "simple English". -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 18:38, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Sig change

My previous sig was bit too long, so I decided to change it to this one:

TBCΦtalk?

Any thoughts on it?--TBCΦtalk? 11:40, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I like the thing between them, what is it, actually? Its like Dream Theater's logo :P. Its good, nice colour! Cheers -- Imoeng 12:47, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the comment! BTW, it's the Greek letter Phi.--TBCΦtalk? 16:04, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

And thanks for doing what I asked! :) Yeah but if you add "M" logo it would be like Dream Theater's :P. When I opened the Phi article, I immediately closed it, because it has math and physics, ahahah. Cheers -- Imoeng 17:55, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Caption Competition!

It was only a matter of time before this happened, so here it is: The Esperanza/Coffee lounge all-star Caption Competition!

So: Find an Image that is aproprate (Free use, G rated ect.) then simply make a good caption, by typing it beneath your image; then, sign your name.

Scores will be given out of Ten (Fifty toatal). For:

• Originality (2)
• Humor (6)
• Image choice (2)

The winner as well as being given a year supply of Coffee and a years supply of lounge will recive the DFRTurnip Tropy®. But then, it's not about the wining or the fabulous Turnip, it's about having a go and having some fun.

Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 13:01, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Discussion

If the competitors are allowed to choose any image they want, then wouldn't contest become more focused on finding the funnier picture and not on making the best caption?--TBCΦtalk? 13:15, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

No, I think it's meant to be like those cheesy competitions in women's mags, where you have a fairly normal photo with a stupid caption and you put a new twist on it. Or something. The entries to those are always pretty lame... I'm sure we can do better. — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 13:22, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, the 6 points is awarded for the humor of the caption, which is secondary to the 2 awarded for image choice. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 22:53, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Can the image be self-made?--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 01:02, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, that's my picture (the bunny one.)...I made it myself...Can you enter self-made pictures...?--Suit-n-tie^{What Have I Done?!} 02:26, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm.. I suppose so, but I don't think it should be encouraged - the enphisis is on the caption, (6 points) not the image (2 points), but good work anyway. Your winning. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 10:29, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Wow, really? Cool.--Atomic-Super-Suit^{What Have I Done?!} 22:01, 3 October 2006 (UTC) I changed my username, I used to be Suit-n-tie.

Well, you were, before there were any other competitors :) . Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 06:24, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

Fair enough.--Atomic-Super-Suit^{What Have I Done?!} 20:44, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

When exactly does judging begin? :D --TBCΦtalk? 00:32, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Soon, my friend.--Atomic-Super-Suit^{What Have I Done?!} 01:35, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

• Exactly it begins on the 13th, that should be enough time. Judging can begin then and go for two days. I want to give everyone a chance to enter - not just those who frequent the Coffee Lounge. Entries have been great so far. Myself and the other judges look forward to more. Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 22:20, 8 October 2006 (UTC)

Judges

(Please add yourself. Limit 5 )

• Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 13:01, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
• IAMTHEEGGMAN (temp Sig)
• Húsönd
• ~crazytales56297 21:19, 2 October 2006 (UTC)
• SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 01:35, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Right. That's done, a fine lot of editors, all of you. Now remember, no taking bribes, unless their really good. Now, Bring on the captions! Dfrg.msc ^{1 . 2 . 3} 10:26, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Competitors

(Please add yourself)

• Atomic-Super-Suit^{What Have I Done?!} 04:06, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
• — $PЯINGεrαgђ 16:07, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
• Che Nuevara 18:27, 3 October 2006 (UTC)
• TBCΦtalk? 01:28, 4 October 2006 (UTC)
• ßottesiηi ^(talk) 21:36, 5 October 2006 (UTC)
• Spawn Man 07:31, 9 October 2006 (UTC)
• ---

Curious and happy observers

• — riana_dzasta _{wreak havoc|damage report} 11:03, 4 October 2006 (UTC) happy, lazy grin

Entries

(Limit 2 per Competitor please)

Example

Atomic-Super-Suit

Springeragh

CheNuevara

DoomsDay349

Tree Biting Conspiracy

Bottesini

Spawn Man

Question about my userpage

I'm wondering if my fellow Esperanzians can help me out here... when I scroll down on my userpage, the picture of the cat and the navframe with my awards shift to the bottom right corner, leaving a black rectangle where the navframe was. They tend to stay there until I move my mouse around. I use Internet Explorer; does anyone else experience this in other browsers, or in Internet Explorer as well? Does my page even show up properly?

Thanks in advance ;-) — Editor at Large^(speak) 20:18, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Nice userpage. I use Mozilla Firefox, and I don't see any problems. bibliomaniac15 20:24, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

This is not an ad, but switch to Firefox, its nice. I started to use it two weeks ago and since then there is no strange stuff like that. And its a really nice userpage, I like papyrus! But the guys said they couldn't read it :( (look another heading above). Imoeng 22:38, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I don't see any problems and I don't use FireFox. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 01:38, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

I'm using Firefox and I can't read Editor at Large's signature. Oddly enough, coz I actually have the Papyrus font installed.--Húsönd 02:03, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

I guess I don't have that font. It looks like every other font I see on here to me. -SaturnYoshi ^{THE VOICES} 02:08, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

That's odd. Ev